My January second resolution

Such a beautiful phenomenon, water is. So pleasant and fulfilling yet simultaneously capable of the opposite.
I am sitting in some sort of lounge with an amusing water display. “They just turned it off” says a woman, but I know it will come back on shortly. I watch as the water channels into life like figures; forming and dissipating in midair- beautiful.
I took a semester of chemistry; I ponder how the water stays as is does, reminiscent of deer jumping along. I think “perhaps the bonds between the water molecules are stronger than that of the water and oxygen molecules of the air”. The display turns off again.
Why something so simply fundamental can bring solace is perhaps more remarkable than the chemistry behind the water itself.
Leaving now for dinner, already three minutes late, the sorrow returns to my mind.
My mind balances the ideas of distress and the phenomenon of water; i look up and examine the faces in the elevator.
Back to my thoughts, and again back to the faces that encircle me.
I’m late for dinner- the third idea that has joined my consciousness. In the same moment “am i going in the right direction”, creates another which is relieved when i realize i am.
The right direction, but the wrong floor, now running towards the restaurant nine minutes late.
Sitting at dinner my mind still perplexes my past. In this anguish I come to realize that my very sitting at this table with a waiter placing a napkin upon me, i have become the very thing i criticized some thirty minutes ago.
What is wrong with society- the million dollar question i ask myself on the hour.
Yet i am what is wrong with society. I am soon to consume a one hundred dollar meal and i have scarcely worked a day in my life.
Disgusted- the only word that describes the feeling fermenting in my mind. How could i live.
These emotions so intensely formed by my inner-self and still i sit here night after night with my rolex and then i grab a breadstick.

I am pathetic.

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